Beefing up
Meaty problems for plant-based foods
Good morning, burger brigade. This is your Stock Market Rundown for December 1st, 2023. Thanks for hanging out with me. Let’s bite in:
TODAY’S TOP STORY: NO MORE MEATLESS MONDAY
The food industry sure scored a marketing coup when they came up with the phrase plant-based. “Vegan” is weird and extreme—it’s that one cousin who can’t eat the turkey and brings his own tofu to Thanksgiving. But “plant-based” sounds cooler—like munching on organic quinoa while doing sun salutations in expensive yoga pants.
The plant-based food megatrend kicked off when brands like Beyond Meat and Impossible Foods launched veggie-only versions of burgers and sausages. They claimed their fugazi foods made of soy, grains, and pea protein had approximately the same taste and texture as the beef we love.
For a while, plant-based foods grabbed market share, with grocery stores stocking them and fast food joints putting them on the menu, like Burger King’s soy-based “Impossible Whopper”.
But lately, the plant-based fad has gotten squashed like a pumpkin under a steamroller. Beyond Meat has suffered sales declines for six quarters in a row, and announced a cost-reduction plan that slashed its workforce.
Problem #1 is cost: with grocery prices on the rise, even discounting isn’t bringing consumers back to the pea patties. Problem #2: consumer skepticism. The proportion of Americans who view plant-based processed foods as “healthy” took a dive over the past few years, as folks realize that nothing cooked up in a factory vat can really be all that good for you.
Problem #3? The taste. A plant-based burger made of pea protein, sunflower oil, and methylcellulose trying to compete with a juicy, flame-grilled beef burger is kind of like Jerry Seinfeld trying to arm-wrestle Arnold Schwarzenegger… just not a fair fight.
SO WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?
New York state is suing Pepsi for being a polluter, after discovering that much of the garbage in the state’s waterways is from Ruffles wrappers and Gatorade bottles. Turns out junk-food trash is clogging up lakes and rivers just like Cheetos clog up our arteries.
“You’re on mute” became the motto of pandemic when we all logged onto Zoom. And the boss dragging us back to the office hasn’t stopped the video-meeting platform—it just raised its revenue and profit forecasts for the year.
Farm equipment manufacturer John Deere’s shares plummeted as management warned of slowing equipment demand. Apparently farmers aren’t lining up for the fully-redesigned 2024 John Deere tractor with leather seats and a sick-ass rear spoiler.
US existing home sales are at a 13-year low, as sky-high prices and spiking mortgage rates block homeowners from loading up moving vans. Instead of buying a bigger house, why not pitch a tent from Costco on the front lawn for your kids to sleep in?
So concludes this week’s program, my friends; have yourselves a lovely weekend, and I’ll see you Monday at our usual morning hour. Yours in capitalism, The Axe
Got questions? Compliments? Want to advertise in Stock Market Rundown?
Hit me up at theaxe@stockmarketrundown.co