Bigger is better
Tom Cruise gets the boot
Good morning, my enthusiastic cinephiles. This is your Stock Market Rundown for July 17th, 2023. Thanks for joining me. Let’s dig in:
TODAY’S TOP STORY: THE NUCLEAR OPTION 💣
IMAX is evicting Tom Cruise. IMAX theaters are only going to show the new Mission: Impossible on their screens for nine days, before replacing it with Christopher Nolan’s summer flick, Oppenheimer, and apparently Cruise is pissed.
So why bump Hollywood’s biggest star? Simple answer: loyalty. Nolan is a longtime megafan of IMAX technology. At at Goldman Sachs conference last year, the CEO of IMAX said Christopher Nolan’s “name is almost synonymous with IMAX”. Guessing he gets free popcorn at their theatres, too.
While you may enjoy seeing blockbusters on the towering IMAX screens at your local multiplex, you might not realize IMAX is an independent public company — has been since 1994. There are now more than 1,700 IMAX theaters in 80 countries, allowing moviegoers to do surgical-like examination of Tom Cruise’s impeccable Botox on the 52-foot-tall screens.
Nolan shot Oppenheimer entirely on IMAX and other large-format stock, which Nolan says gives “a feeling of 3D without the glasses”. With IMAX resolution ten times that of regular film, the nuclear bomb scenes in Nolan’s movie will feel so real, it’ll be like radiation is literally pulsing through your body. Reminds me of my last dental X-ray.
SO WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?
Due to rampant inflation, mom and dad will spend less on back-to-school shopping. In my day all it took to make us happy was a set of pencil crayons and a new pair of Nikes from the outlet mall.
Two-thirds of Americans say tipping culture is out of control. What’s next, the local librarian expecting 18% of my fines?
Southwest Airlines is facing a pilot strike as the union is in revolt over their antiquated scheduling system causing thousands of canceled flights. You may wanna opt to fly United while this drama is getting sorted out.
Meta’s new Threads app is the fastest-downloaded app in history. Can’t wait to watch fitness influencers shilling Flat Tummy Detox Tea and demonstrating atrocious squat form.
Cities like Boston and New York are rolling out programs to turn office space into residential development. Cool, just trash the buzzing fluorescents, polyester cubicle partitions, and TEAMWORK posters. The Aeron chairs can stay.
That’s it for today, see you bright and early tomorrow. Yours in capitalism, The Axe