Bridezilla's revenge
Saying yes to the dress at David’s
Good morning, eligible bachelors. This is your Stock Market Rundown for November 7th, 2023. Thank you so much, once again, for reading. Let’s get started:
TODAY’S TOP STORY: A WALK DOWN THE AISLE 💒
Most girls have dreams of a wedding day with a multi-tiered cake, piles of flowers, and themselves as the star in a designer Vera Wang wedding gown. But when the grim reality of shelling out five grand for a white dress sinks in, there’s David’s Bridal.
Founded in 1950, David’s is a mall brand that expanded to nearly 300 locations. With dresses from $99, David’s is priced for the frugal bride who’d rather save a few bucks on the dress and throw more cash into providing an open bar. (We have a name for such women: heroes.)
The mall downturn turned David’s fairy tale into a Reno divorce, and the business filed for bankruptcy in 2018. Restructuring gave it a second chance at love, but it stumbled in its walk down the aisle and filed for bankruptcy again last April, leading to online meltdowns as women fretted that their dresses would be caught up in legal limbo.
Now, David’s has emerged from bankruptcy yet again. The new owners are leveraging technology: they’ve rolled out an app that lets brides-to-be create “custom vision boards” for their wedding. (That should help with critical decisions like whether their tablecloths should be sand, bisque, or alabaster.)
Bridal retail is a brutal game due to the costs of running brick-and-mortar locations, like staff who are paid a commission for every polyester frock they move. And in bridal, repeat business is practically nil, barring a spike in the divorce rate.
Time will tell whether the brand equity of David’s will give this story a happy ending, or whether it’ll be as much of a flop as a frat bro best man’s wedding speech. He really didn’t have to tell that story.
SO WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?
GNC, the supplement retailer, is expanding into healthcare. I’m into this, given that I actually trust the typical gym-goer’s “bro science” more than I trust the average health expert with a PhD.
Execs at Porsche warned that surging interest rates could dampen demand for luxury vehicles. Surely anybody who can afford to contemplate a new Panamera isn’t overly concerned about their car loan’s APR.
Beloved online brand Neopets is making a comeback, with a relaunch of the 24-year-old virtual pet website. Next, how about a reboot of Pac Man where he has to assemble a desk from Ikea?
Amazon’s cloud business is in growth mode as it benefits from AI. Soon the shopping site will be intelligent enough to predict what you’re about to order before you even smash the buy button. Dog food, waterproof sealant, and yoga pants that don’t fit quite right? How did they know?
That’s it for today, my friends; see you back here as usual first thing tomorrow morning. Yours in capitalism, The Axe