Crypto crimewatch
Scam kingpins get dethroned
Good morning, blockchain brainiacs. This is your Stock Market Rundown for May 20th, 2024. Thanks for tuning in for another week of fun. Let’s get started:
TODAY’S TOP STORY: DIGITAL DECEPTION
Crypto might be digital gold, or even the currency of the future. But it’s also a haven for fraud and scams. I’m guessing it wasn’t long after the first Bitcoins were minted, that the first enterprising crypto hacker tried to steal them.
Bitcoin’s price roaring back to near all-time highs has ushered in a new wave of scammers—and they’re stealing bigger and bigger sums. Like the two brothers who were recently indicted with conspiracy and fraud in New York.
Authorities allege that Anton and James Pepaire-Bueno—former MIT computer science students—stole $25 million in just twelve seconds, by tampering with trades in the public ledger for Ethereum. They spent months planning the heist, and used shell companies to launder their ill-gotten gains.
The vulnerability they exploited has since been patched, but the fraud just shows yet again that the crypto markets are about as secure as a bank vault made of paper mâché.
Meanwhile, in Canada, another bright young sociopath was just arrested for an even bigger fraud. Aiden Pleterski, who dubbed himself the “Crypto King”, is charged with scamming victims out of $30 million.
Pleterski assured his investors that the millions they handed over would be invested in crypto and forex, and claimed to be generating mega profits. In reality, he “invested” their money in Lamborghinis, vacations to Miami, and $45,000-a-month rent for his lakefront mansion.
He showed off his luxury lifestyle on his Instagram account… which is about to get a lot more boring, as his view changes from private jets to a jail cell.
SO WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?
Attention, Walmart shoppers: your local store greeter may be getting a bonus. The retailer’s shares hit a record high as the retailer reported strong results.
Under Armour is restructuring its business as it suffers from flagging demand. Free marketing idea: have Luka Dončić mow his lawn while wearing nothing but a pair of Under Armour boxer shorts.
Hope for the itchy: J&J is spending $850 million to acquire a company with an experimental treatment for eczema.
If you can’t bend it like Beckham, you can at least dress like him. The star midfielder just inked a menswear design partnership with Hugo Boss.
Clocking out for today, comrades; see you bright and early tomorrow. Yours in capitalism, The Axe
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