Downward dog
Stretching your budget at Alo Yoga
Good morning, digital dynamos. This is your Stock Market Rundown for November 9th, 2023. Thanks for tuning in. Let’s get started:
TODAY’S TOP STORY: ALO’S PUBLIC FLEX 🧘
Can a pair of yoga pants be a luxury purchase? Lululemon was a pioneer in pushing the boundaries of what we’d pay for stretchy trousers, Now, Alo Yoga is taking polyester to the next level.
Alo was founded in Los Angeles in 2007, by two childhood friends. (The name means “air, land, ocean”... deep, bro.)
They boast a “dog-friendly” headquarters with every amenity from infrared saunas to cold-plunge pools. I bet their board meetings have kale chips instead of donuts.
The founders branded Alo “the most technologically advanced yoga clothing in the world.” I’m not sure how technologically advanced a pair of pants can be, but somehow they created the “it” brand for well-groomed fitness girlies, with Hailey Bieber rocking them to her Pilates classes.
Now, having grown to 43 stores and over a billion in annual sales, Alo is gearing up for a $10 billion IPO. The question for investors: is this just the latest influencer-driven fad, or will fickle Gen Z fans stick with the brand?
Either way, management is exploiting Alo’s current ultra-cool status by climbing ever higher up the premiumization ladder, with a just-launched line of upscale occasion wear featuring garments priced at up to $1,900.
Of course, if dropping a mortgage payment on a fashion statement isn’t quite the vibe, you could always just buy the Kirkland Signature leggings from Costco the next time you’re picking up a gallon of pickles.
SO WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?
Spotify reported earnings that beat expectations, probably due to K-Pop fans obsessively streaming their fave boy band’s latest track. My son Jaden has been inconsolable since BTS broke up.
During the crypto frenzy, SafeMoon was a token that promised stratospheric returns, but like all shitcoins it soon crashed to earth. Now the SEC is charging its creators with siphoning millions in assets to subsidize their luxury lifestyles. The scam was promoted by celebs like Soulja Boy and Lil Yachty, proving yet again that we shouldn’t take investment advice from anybody who thinks the blockchain is something they get at their local jeweler.
Drill baby drill: US crude production is at record levels, thanks to novel drilling and production techniques resulting in wells that gush like Old Faithful.
VF Corp—which owns clothing brands like The North Face, Timberland, and Vans—warned of weaker near-term financial results due to flagging demand for apparel and footwear. We’re only one Avril Lavigne hit song away from everybody wearing checkered Vans again.
Toyota is introducing a $10,000 pickup truck to sell in developing markets. Wow, Toyota management really saw the Taliban mounting DShK heavy machine guns on the back of Land Cruisers and said "let's lean into that."
That's all for today, superstars; catch you on the flip side tomorrow morning. Yours in capitalism, The Axe