Electric feel
Making EVs go vroom
Good morning, speed demons. This is your Stock Market Rundown for June 21st, 2023.
TODAY’S TOP STORY: EV MAKERS STAYING IN THEIR LANE🚗
You won’t even hear it coming. I’m talking about the Tesla that hits you when you jaywalk while wearing EarPods. Teslas’ electric motors are creepily quiet.
But for any Tesla drivers who miss the sweet purr of fossil-fuel incineration, there’s a fix—they can opt for aftermarket mods to make their Model Y sound like a Ferrari.
It’s not just the engine noise that might be fugazi on an EV. Toyota’s electric vehicle unit is developing a fake manual transmission, which would “serve absolutely no purpose” but be “just for fun”. Maybe while they’re slapping on pointless features, they could bring back those aerodynamic tailfins Cadillacs had in the ‘60s? Those were groovy.
Questionable frills aside, Toyota has longstanding street cred in alternative powertrains, having introduced the iconic hybrid Prius all the way back in 1997 (cue Spice Girls). But the Japanese automaker has focused on hybrids, not full electric.
Last year Toyota produced 54,000 EVs. That’s a fraction of Tesla , where 339,000 EVs drove off the assembly line—enough to give a car to everybody who lives in Wichita, Kansas.
Reviewers didn’t love Toyota’s first mass-market electric vehicle, the bZ4X (is that the name of a car, or Elon Musk’s tenth kid?) It costs about the same as a Model Y, but has a lesser range and longer charge time, leading drivers to complain of “painfully long pit stops”.
They’re working on it: Toyota’s 2026 EVs will boast a 600-plus-mile range and faster charging times. So you could take an EV road trip from New York to Quebec City, then recharge while enjoying a gravy-drenched poutine. No gassing-up required.
SO WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?
Egypt just banned most dog breeds, including Dobermans and huskies, after a deadly pit bull attack. German shepherds would very much like to be excluded from this narrative.
What do sell-side analysts actually do all day? Pro tip: much of the value-add comes from relationships (with issuers and clients) rather than from fussing with an Excel spreadsheet.
Entrepreneurship inspo: two United Airlines employees made $10,000 a week selling weed stolen out of customers’ checked baggage.
Squash, anyone? A former Barclays trader testified in an securities fraud trial that his buddy (a former Goldman investment banking VP) gave him tips on companies on the cusp of being acquired while they played squash. This ex-Goldman jabroni was industrious: he leaked details on eight deals to his buddies. Greed kills, folks.
That’s it for today, see you bright and early tomorrow. Yours in capitalism, The Axe