Fraud fiasco
Tingo's billion-dollar swindle
Good morning, financial-statement sleuths. This is your Stock Market Rundown for January 25th, 2024. Thank you, once again, for reading. Let’s get started:
TODAY’S TOP STORY: BALANCE SHEET SHENANIGANS
Ladies, ever met a guy at a bar who claims to “work for the CIA”, but actually turns out to be a mall security guard? How about the “investment banker” who’s really a Wells Fargo bank teller? Sociopaths can be awfully creative with the facts to get what they want. And capital markets are no exception.
Until recently, Dozy Mmobuosi was a high-profile African success story, founder of a NASDAQ-listed company whose market value peaked at $7 billion. But things fell apart overnight when the SEC charged him with a massive, elaborate fraud.
Mmobuosi’s company blatantly fabricated billions of dollars in transactions to inflate financial performance—and, for a while, it worked. Mmobuosi got rich enough that he bid for English football club Sheffield United. Owning a sports team ranks up there with “buy a superyacht” and “evade taxes” on every sketchy billionaire’s to-do list.
Tingo claimed to provide telecom and agriculture services to millions of farmers in Nigeria. But red flags got hoisted when a short seller published a report accusing Tingo of being a “worthless and brazen fraud.”
The report revealed that the CEO had been previously indicted for passing bad checks, and that he announced the launch of Tingo Airlines by “photoshopping his logo onto pictures of airplanes.” Documents were falsified; cash balances, non-existent; the auditors, apparently on an extended smoke break.
As of right now, Mmobuosi is “at large”, which I’m guessing means chilling on the beach of a country with no extradition. Even if he evades justice, it’s unlikely he’ll be re-appearing on the cover of GQ Africa any time soon.
SO WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?
A few more guys got their childhood dream car in 2023, as Porsche increased deliveries by 3%. Admit it—when you were in eighth grade you had a 911 poster on the wall over your desk too.
Greenwashing watch: Evian spring water is being sued for labelling that claims it’s “carbon neutral”. Folks, no product you buy off a store shelf is gonna actually be carbon neutral… I don’t care how many trees they planted.
Microsoft reports that a Russian state-sponsored hacking group known as “Midnight Blizzard” broke into its corporate email system. Unfortunately the only thing the cybercriminals found in the hacked emails was a list of what everybody’s bringing to the office potluck on Friday.
Cruise operators like Royal Caribbean are adjusting their itineraries due to Yemeni rebel attacks on ships in the Red Sea. Nothing spoils a waterslide ride like a direct hit from an anti-ship missile.
That’s it for today, homeslices; let’s circle back first thing tomorrow morning. Yours in capitalism, The Axe