Froth and fury
Starbucks baristas get steamed up
Good morning, mocha mavens. This is your Stock Market Rundown for December 21st, 2023. Thanks for joining me. Let’s dig in:
TODAY’S TOP STORY: BREWING DISSENT
The Starbucks employees who whip up our daily caffeinated concoctions want a pay raise. It all started with workers at a Starbucks store in Buffalo, New York, voting to unionize two years ago, in search of better wages and more consistent schedules.
Since then, 370 other Starbucks locations have joined them. While that’s just a teeny fraction of Starbucks’ ten thousand US stores, the rest of the worker base isn’t exactly percolating with joy.
Back in November, Starbucks had their annual Red Cup Day, a promotional event where you can get a free reusable plastic cup with your Gingerbread Oatmilk Chai. But thousands of disgruntled employees turned it into a Red Cup rebellion by staging a walkout.
Starbucks has been scolded by government regulators for unfair labor practices, so now the coffee giant is trying to play nice. They’ve come back to the bargaining table, and have promised to lift worker wages by at least 3%. Okay, that actually just keeps pace with inflation, but gets them a “you tried” star.
(Starbucks’ stock has dropped recently, but that’s more due to sluggish sales trends than union worries. Any downturn in consumer spending habits hits Starbucks—cake pops aren’t exactly an essential household item.)
You can’t really blame the workers for their pumpkin-spice protest. If I had to spend all day pumping out grande quad nonfat extra-hot lattes with two pumps of caramel syrup and one pump of hazelnut syrup, I’d want a raise too. Oh, and don’t forget the cinnamon on top.
SO WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?
Nothing more festive than a Santa Claus rally. The Dow Jones average rocketed to an all-time high after the Fed signaled that interest rates have peaked this cycle.
The pandemic ending has given Pfizer a case of the Mondays. Their COVID vaccine business is way down, thanks to to only 17% of the population still getting boosters, which has the stock suffering side effects. If they want a blockbuster drug, they should try curing baldness.
Remember the NFT bubble? Soccer legend Cristiano Ronaldo would rather forget it. He’s facing a $1 billion class action suit for endorsing NFTs that cost as much as $23,000 and are now worth zilch.
The Wall Street strategist whose price target on the S&P nailed it this year expects the market to keep surging. That said, when you hear the words “Wall Street strategist” your immediate mental picture should be of a monkey throwing darts at a dartboard.
Until next time, esteemed partners—looking forward to our rendezvous tomorrow morning. Yours in capitalism, The Axe
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Hit me up at theaxe@stockmarketrundown.co