Game of loans
Payback's a bitch
Good morning, my diligent students of the market. This is your Stock Market Rundown for July 19th, 2023. Thanks once again for tuning in. Let’s go:
TODAY’S TOP STORY: RETURN OF THE DEBT 💵
Many things have been forgotten from the pandemic era, from the "two weeks to flatten the curve” slogan, to the discarded masks that are probably now strangling some aquatic wildlife somewhere.
But there’s one thing the government is guaranteed to never forget: that money you owe them. After a three-year pause for the panny, US student loan repayments are restarting in October.
Even worse, the Biden administration’s plan to cancel billions in student loans got shut down by the Supreme Court. Can’t a French literature major catch a break?
Happily, paybacks will be geared to your income. So if you’re manning the Hobart dishwasher in a greasy-spoon diner for minimum wage, you may not even owe a monthly payment. Not much comfort as you sling dirty plates for a six-hour shift, I know.
On the other hand, if you’re swanning around Midtown Manhattan in a Patagucci vest, living that 80-hour-a-week Excel spreadsheet life, you’ll be expected to adhere to a normal repayment plan. Definitely gonna cut into your budget for Old Fashioneds at The Tippler.
Some analysts are fearing that the 40 million Americans with student loans might substitute away from discretionary purchases. That could be trouble for companies that sell stuff like shoes made of foam resin and thousand-dollar down jackets. You know… life’s little luxuries.
Anyway, if you’re repaying loans, you’re not alone—on average it takes 21 years to pay them off. So you may be reading your “paid in full” notice through bifocals.
SO WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?
How about a weekend jaunt to Milan? Airline fares have fallen nearly twenty percent in the past year.
Corporate America is chomping at the bit to advertise on Meta’s new social media app, Threads. I’m sure it helps that Mark Zuckerberg has all our personal details, from internet browsing history to blood type.
YouTube buffoon Logan Paul had his energy drink recalled in Canada for containing more caffeine than legally allowable in a beverage. Great for long-haul truck drivers, air-traffic controllers, and accountants during tax season.
Despite decades of investment in solar and wind, fossil fuels stay winning: industry data shows they comprised 82% of global energy consumption in 2022.
Twitter is hemorrhaging cash as advertisers flee. Is Elon Musk trying to sabotage the platform, or is he actually this incompetent on purpose?
That’s it for today, see you bright and early tomorrow. Yours in capitalism, The Axe