The heir apparent
Succession of the crown at Fox
Good morning, dynastic despots. This is your Stock Market Rundown for September 26th, 2023. Thanks for reading. Let’s dig in:
TODAY’S TOP STORY: TABLOID TITAN TAKES A BOW 📰
After seven decades at the helm, Rupert Murdoch is stepping down as chair of Fox and News Corp. The controversial media mogul has weathered many a scandal, but now at age 92 seems content to chill on his yacht.
Every king needs an “heir and a spare”, and Murdoch’s chosen heir is his eldest son, Lachlan, who will now take the reins. Meanwhile, his “spare” son, James, is estranged, due to quibbles with dad’s politics.
In a 2021 interview, James condemned “outlets that propagate lies,” which was viewed as a not-so-subtle dis of Fox. Thanksgiving dinner must be fun at their house.
James did serve in leadership roles in the past—he was the CEO of 20th Century Fox. But when Murdoch sold the studio to Disney, there wasn’t much for James to do, and he bailed. Lachlan and James are reportedly not on speaking terms.
If this drama sounds like it was ripped from an episode of Succession, it’s no accident: the plot of the TV show was partially based on the Murdoch family.
The real Game of Thrones will occur after Murdoch dies, when the voting shares he owns will be split amongst his four oldest children. Lachlan better look out: if the other three forge an alliance against him, they could wrest away control of the business.
Time for these feuding billionaire scions to go for a beer and learn to get along. Like Michael Corleone said: never take sides against the family.
SO WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?
Halloween season is nearly here, and scaring the crap out of people is big business. Theme parks are cashing in with events like “Fright Fest” at Six Flags and “Howl-o-Scream” at SeaWorld. If you want a gig as a zombie extra, apply now.
The US federal government might shut down on October 1st due to failure to reach a compromise on spending. These crises occur at regular intervals, but typically there’s some Bruce-Willis-saving-the-planet-from-an-asteroid-style bailout at the last possible second.
Elon Musk’s “brain-computer interface” startup Neuralink is launching human trials. I can’t wait to remotely control the icemaker in my Samsung Smart Fridge with my mind.
Another flopbuster for Hollywood, as Expendables 4 bombs. Is America tiring of nonstop sequels? Or was the movie’s 16% Rotten Tomatoes score the problem?
An Indian tech company allegedly hid half a billion dollars in a hedge fund run by a 23-year-old based out of a Miami IHOP. If you can’t trust an investment manager with a Zoomer perm who makes trades over a stack of chocolate-chip pancakes, who can you trust?
That’s it for today, my friends; see you tomorrow morning. Yours in capitalism, The Axe