Heir havoc
Privilege problems at Tyson
Good morning, clever carnivores. This is your Stock Market Rundown for June 19th, 2024. Thanks for joining me. Let’s bite into it:
TODAY’S TOP STORY: BEEF BARON BLOOPER
Heirs to billion-dollar corporate fortunes are groomed their whole lives to ascend to the throne of power. Yet some of them still manage to screw it up. Example: John R. Tyson.
As the great-grandson of the founder of Tyson Foods, he’s the heir-apparent to a meat empire—Tyson owns top grocery-store brands like Jimmy Dean, Hillshire Farm, and Ball Park hot dogs. In fact, the company produces around 20% of America’s beef, chicken, and pork, so unless you’re a vegan, you’re probably a customer.
Youthful John R. Tyson, armed with a Stanford MBA, was appointed to an executive role in 2019. The plan: train him up to eventually become the fourth Tyson to be chairman of the firm—a role his father occupies today.
But his path to power swerved off track in January 2023, when he pleaded guilty to misdemeanor charges of public intoxication and criminal trespassing. Enjoying a few cocktails is okay… getting so drunk you break into a stranger’s house and fall asleep in their bed is not.
Thanks to John’s last name being on the firm’s front door, he escaped with a fine and an abject apology. That is, until this past week, when the heir hit the headlines again on a drunk-driving charge. A cop pulled him over after his speeding SUV hit a curb, and he admitted to drinking “five to seven” Miller Lites.
As a result of his arrest, Tyson has been suspended from all duties at the family business. Maybe Dad will reinstate him after he apologizes. Or, maybe he should give up corporate life and pursue a career in competitive beer pong.
SO WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?
The quality-control headaches don’t stop for Boeing: the plane maker just announced more manufacturing hiccups. I used to bring Pringles and a James Patterson novel on flights… now I bring a rosary and a Bible.
Local tweens are going to be paying more for their polyester jumpsuits. Shein, the Chinese fast-fashion retailer, has raised its prices by over a third as it preps for an IPO.
Disney and the state of Florida have quashed their long-running beef, which will allow Disney to build a fifth giant theme park. Forget Harry Potter: I want a Fight Club-themed park where I can punch the employees.
The CEO of Novo Nordisk has volunteered to testify to a senate committee on the sky-high price of weight-loss drugs. Your insurance company won’t pony up for Ozempic? Skipping lunch is still free.
And that's a wrap on today, friends. Make sure to tune in tomorrow morning. Yours in capitalism, The Axe
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