Trading trouble
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Good morning, diligent analysts. This is your Stock Market Rundown for October 3rd, 2023. Thanks for joining me. Let’s dig in:
TODAY’S TOP STORY: STOCK JOCKS GET CAUGHT 📈
Ethics directives in the securities industry are designed to protect clients from financial abuse. But there are always folks who view the rules as something to be bent.
One such creative mind: 26-year-old Anthony Viggiano, who was recently indicted for insider trading, alongside two of his buddies.
When Viggiano found out about upcoming acquisitions via his job as an analyst at Goldman Sachs, he tipped off said homies; they illegally traded ahead of the news, then split their winnings with him. Soon, there were group text chains going, with “u didn’t hear from me” disclaimers.
These conspirators weren’t exactly Jason Bourne. They referred to Viggiano in code as “Rigatoni”, and used Xbox 360 chat for encrypted communication.
When the Feds got suspicious, they convinced Viggiano’s co-conspirator to flip on him. Viggiano’s friend of 20 years promptly recorded him admitting to everything. The bonds of friendship are strong, but the threat of federal prison is stronger.
The conspirators made around $400,000 from the scheme. Blowing up your entire career in the securities industry while not even netting enough to buy a house in upstate New York… brutal.
This is the fifth instance in recent years of a Goldman Sachs employee exploiting their position to enrich themselves at clients’ expense. Maybe it’s time for an ethics seminar at the vampire squid.
SO WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?
Amazon is investing $4 billion to buy a minority stake in leading AI company Anthropic. Maybe access to AI models will help Amazon’s algorithms smarten up. No, Amazon—me buying a toilet seat doesn’t mean you should “recommend” five other toilet seats to me every time I log on.
New York City is passing a law requiring app-based food delivery companies to pay delivery workers minimum wage. You kids today are so spoiled… in my day you had to walk to the taqueria to pick up your tacos, in six feet of snow, and it was uphill both ways.
Lululemon is shitcanning its Mirror “smart fitness” device, which it acquired for $500 million three years ago. Now the pandemic is over, gyms are back, and nobody wants a $2000 screen that can’t even stream a football game.
The fugitive founder of a bankrupt crypto hedge fund has been arrested in Singapore. His firm, Three Arrows, went from $10 billion of assets to being wiped out. He’ll now be detained by authorities for four months—hope he has some podcast episodes queued up.
That’s it for today, my friends; see you tomorrow morning. Yours in capitalism, The Axe