Latte legacy
Caffeinated capitalism at Starbucks
Good morning, java junkies. This is your Stock Market Rundown for September 27th, 2023. Grab your morning coffee, and let’s get started:
TODAY’S TOP STORY: A BARISTA IN THE BOARDROOM ☕
It’s the end of a roasted-bean era. Howard Schultz, the Starbucks head honcho who built it into a global coffeehouse giant, is stepping down from the company’s board of directors.
Schultz served as CEO of Starbucks three separate times, and under his leadership the business grew to over 35,000 cafes around the world. But when he joined, it was a Seattle chain that sold coffee beans—not brewed coffee.
On a trip to Milan in 1983, Schultz was enchanted by how Italians made socializing over espresso part of their daily routine. At the time, the American takeout coffee sold at diners and gas stations tasted like… well… gasoline. Definitely nothing to linger over.
Schultz decided to import la dolce vita, and bring the espresso bar concept to US shores. (Of course, he had to Americanize it, in the form of white chocolate mochas and java chip frappuccinos. Arguably, Starbucks’ success came thanks to making it socially acceptable for grown adults to basically drink milkshakes for breakfast.)
As for the stock price, it’s smelling like a freshly-ground Kona roast. The company just raised its quarterly dividend—the thirteenth annual consecutive boost. Schultz’s stock options made him a billionaire, and he enjoys typical billionaire hobbies, like owning a basketball team and “seriously thinking” of running for president.
His legacy is Starbucks’ role in our lives as a “third place”—your hangout spot that’s not home or work. To this day, Starbucks is the preferred cozy location to cradle a latte while you spend hours studying for exams, or meet up with a Tinder date to get catfished over a cappuccino.
SO WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?
An NFL quarterback and two YouTubers just settled a class-action lawsuit with investors who complained that they promoted fraud crypto exchange FTX without disclosing being paid. Here’s a hot stock tip for retail investors: if an athlete or influencer promotes anything, assume a few palms are being greased.
Uno. Eins. One. That’s the number of mutual funds that have beaten the Nasdaq 100 index over the past five, ten, and fifteen years. Stock-picking is the most overrated activity since Disney cruises.
Facebook changed its logo from blue to a slightly darker blue. Knowing Big Tech, this decision probably required fourteen meetings, twenty-five email threads, and one offsite in Lake Tahoe.
The SEC is poring over thousands of WhatsApp messages from employees of top investment companies, to snoop on whether they broke record-keeping rules. Your tax dollars at work: sinking hundreds of man-hours into scrolling through crying-laughing emojis and Michael Scott GIFs.
That’s it for today, my friends; see you tomorrow morning. Yours in capitalism, The Axe