No holds barred
SmackDown meets Fight Night
Good morning, ultimate fighters. This is your Stock Market Rundown for September 15th, 2023. Thanks for checking in with me. Let’s hit it:
TODAY’S TOP STORY: BODY SLAMS AND ARM BARS 💪
When it comes to watching fighters duke it out in the ring, do you prefer the merciless elbow strikes and bloody noses of the UFC, or the flamboyant outfits and melodramatic storylines of the WWE? Now, you can own a piece of both.
The businesses have been merged, and listed on the NYSE as a new public company called TKO Group. It’s a union that may surprise some fans.
The UFC’s genesis was in ‘90s freakshow tournaments that pitted fighters of every style against each other. (The sumo and karate fighters swiftly got their asses kicked by practitioners of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.)
The no-holds-barred bouts were initially banned, but eventually the UFC professionalized, and today its pay-per-view events in Vegas are cheered on by millions.
WWE, by contrast, is less a sport and more a soap opera for men. Staged professional wrestling evolved out of 19th century match-fixing. Basically, real wrestling is boring as a spectator sport. But wild outfits, smack talk, theme music, and a few chokeslams make it a lot more compelling.
WWE founder Vince McMahon broke through when he launched WrestleMania in 1985. Scores of screaming kids flocked to see Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, and the whole roster of “babyfaces” and “heels”—good guys and bad guys, in pro-wrestler lingo.
McMahon has come off the mat himself. He retired in 2022 after The Wall Street Journal exposed that he paid millions in hush money. But he then un-retired to sell the WWE, and is now executive chairman of the merged entity. The Tom Brady maneuver… well played, Vince.
SO WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?
American Airlines cut its quarterly profit forecasts, citing both higher fuel costs and a new contract just ratified by the pilots’ union that’ll boost labor costs. Idea: self-piloting electric jets?
Apple unveiled its newest iPhone and everybody’s talking about the ports. No more Lightning ports—the devices now have the same USB ports as laptops and Android phones, due to new European regulations. I guess EU politicians were sick and tired of having so many different cords in the kitchen junk drawer.
A brand-new book about Elon Musk drops some juicy details on a feud between Musk and Bill Gates. Apparently, Musk lost it when Gates admitted he was short Tesla stock, and called him “insane” over text. Bill is definitely kicked out of the groupchat.
Jury selection is underway in the Sam Bankman-Fried trial, which is sure to be a doozy. SBF requested pretrial release, complaining that his jail-cell laptop internet connection was too slow (seriously). The judge replied “lol”.
That’s it for today and for this week, my friends. Have a delightful weekend; I’m already looking forward to seeing you first thing Monday morning. Yours in capitalism, The Axe