Parlay party
The big leagues of online sports betting
Good morning, money-chasing mongooses. This is your Stock Market Rundown for November 14th, 2023. Thanks for joining me. Let’s dig in:
TODAY’S TOP STORY: BETTING IT ALL 🎰
In the bad old days, if you wanted to put a wager on a sporting event, you had to find a bookie in some dark alley, who’d probably break your legs if you got too deep in the hole.
But nowadays, degenerate gamblers can choose from an array of betting apps that let you wager from the comfort of your Aeron chair.
That’s thanks to a 2018 US Supreme Court ruling that the federal ban on sports gaming was unconstitutional, leading to state-by-state legalization of sports betting. No risk required—except to your bank account.
A pioneer of this business: DraftKings. It was founded by three tech workers who launched their online “daily fantasy sports” betting service in 2012. Rolling up competitors as it grew, DraftKings went public in 2020, and is now the market-share leader in US online sports betting.
But the company isn’t everybody’s top fantasy pick. DraftKings has never turned a profit, thanks to the billion bucks a year they splash out on marketing.
And some observers fret that minors are developing gambling problems thanks to the apps. Kids should be playing Little League, not glued to a screen betting on MLB games like a prepubescent version of Pete Rose.
Whatever the social costs, gambling has now become a mainstream pastime, and mega moneymaker: DraftKings’ most recent quarterly report saw its revenue up 57%. Something to think about the next time you sink the grocery money into another Hail-Mary longshot parlay… the house always wins.
SO WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?
Airbnb’s earnings report provided forward guidance below street expectations, probably thanks to the elderly neighbors calling the cops to shut down condo-unit ragers a few too many times. Karens, all of them.
A top commercial insurer says a major cyber attack on the financial system could lead to global losses of over $3 trillion. Scariest part: most system compromises are due not to hacking, but to a human getting tricked. (I am begging boomers to stop clicking on phishing emails claiming “your Netflix account is about to expire.”)
A top bond investor is warning that the spiraling national debt is imperiling the US dollar’s status as the world’s reserve currency. C’mon, who can challenge the US dollar? You think the euro’s got hands? You think the yen wants this smoke?
Entertainment giant Paramount reported a weak quarter on slumping TV advertising and delays of theatrical releases. Fans will have to wait until May 2025 to see everybody’s favourite Scientologist, Tom Cruise, do his best Blue Steel in the next Mission: Impossible.
That's today's scoop, friends; see you at our usual morning slot tomorrow for another round. Yours in capitalism, The Axe