Space race
Destination moon
Good morning, celestial voyagers. This is your Stock Market Rundown for January 16th, 2024. Thanks for reading. Let’s dig in:
TODAY’S TOP STORY: LUNAR LAND GRAB
“That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.” 1969 was the year we first put human footprints on the moon’s surface. But—despite the ample free real estate—there hasn’t been a NASA-led mission back to the moon since Apollo 17 in 1972.
Now, a few private ventures are attempting landings on the lunar surface. If they succeed, it’ll be the first time Americans have returned to the moon since The Eagles were in the top 40 and your granddad was wearing sideburns and bell bottoms.
Astrobotic, based in Pittsburgh, made a play for a moon landing when its Peregrine lander launched on January 8th. But the mission went sideways when the craft suffered a “propulsion anomaly” on separation from its launch rocket.
Despite making it to lunar distance 200,000 miles from earth, poor little Peregrine ran out of fuel and never touched down. Now, it’s doomed to burn up on re-entry to the earth’s atmosphere. RIP, Peregrine… A+ for effort, F for execution.
We’ll see another moonshot next month. Houston-based Intuitive Machines plans to launch its Nova-C lunar lander via a SpaceX rocket from Cape Canaveral, targeting the moon’s south pole. Soft-landing on the rocky lunar surface is no layup—crafts from Israel and Japan crash-landed in recent years.
NASA is lending a helping hand to the private companies trying for moon landings, as part of their R&D program to work towards “a sustainable human presence on the lunar surface.” Does this mean I can start saving for a retirement condo on the moon? The sunsets are stunning, but the nightlife sucks.
SO WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?
What do we want? Lattes! When do we want them? Now! The Supreme Court just agreed to hear an appeal of a ruling that forced Starbucks to rehire seven employees fired for unionizing.
Most rich guys play polo or buy an NFL team, but Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg is built different. His hobby is raising Wagyu beef cattle on a ranch he owns in Hawaii. To ensure the most tender and fatty steaks, he feeds them macadamia nuts and beer… that’s what cows ate in the wild, right?
Enjoy a refreshing menthol cigarette on your smoke break? Not for long if you live in California: the state is cracking down on flavored tobacco products. Easy fix, I’ll just chew Wrigley’s spearmint gum and smoke Marlboros at the same time.
The Biden administration is tightening rules for gig workers to prevent exploitation. The 11-year-old I pay $10 to shovel the snow in my driveway now wants benefits and a 401K.
That's today's scoop, friends; see you at our usual morning slot tomorrow for another round. Yours in capitalism, The Axe