Waking nightmare
A bedtime merger battle
Good morning, dream weavers. This is your Stock Market Rundown for July 12th, 2024. Thanks for joining me. Let’s dig in:
TODAY’S TOP STORY: MATTRESS MERGER MELTDOWN
A few things can ruin a peaceful night’s sleep. One is a lumpy, worn-out mattress. Another is regulators blocking your billion-dollar deal. Tempur Sealy is suffering from both problems.
Tempur Sealy is the largest US mattress supplier, and they previously closed a deal to acquire Mattress Firm, the largest US mattress retailer, for $4 billion. The vertical integration potential of putting together a dominant manufacturer, and a big retail footprint, is the stuff investment banker dreams are made of.
But the FTC must’ve forgotten to take their melatonin gummies. They’ve just sued to block the deal due to fears that the combined entity would have a chokehold on the mattress supply chain.
FTC officials charged that the deal is “intended to kneecap competitors and dominate the market,” which makes Tempur Sealy sound like some sort of sleepy-headed mafia.
Lately, the FTC has been as heavy-handed in blocking mergers as my Aunt Mitzi is with her blue eyeshadow. They thwarted a planned merger between grocery stores Albertsons and Kroger. And they blocked the combination of healthcare analytics companies IQVIA and Propel.
They even blocked the merger of handbag makers Tapestry (which owns Coach) and Capri Holdings (which owns Michael Kors). Wouldn’t want to reduce competition in the outlet-mall pleather purse market!
With the FTC yanking away the covers, Tempur Sealy management will have a few sleepless nights until this lawsuit gets sorted out. I suggest they try my Aunt Mitzi’s cure for insomnia: a shot of whiskey and a warm bath.
SO WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?
McDonald’s in Australia has cut its breakfast service due to an egg shortage caused by bird flu. Is breakfast still the most important meal of the day if you’re eating an Egg McMuffin combo with no discernable nutritional value?
With the unemployment rate rising and job growth slowing, the US economy is cooling off like a burger that fell off the grill at your Fourth of July barbecue.
Apparently, Walmart is a bigger liar than your narcissistic ex. The retailer is being sued for charging higher prices at the register than what’s posted on the shelf.
The US Supreme Court is hearing a challenge to the FDA’s ban on flavored vapes. Their verdict will determine whether high schoolers have the right to give themselves lung diseases previously known only to coal miners.
That’s it for today, my friends; see you bright and early Monday morning. Yours in capitalism, The Axe
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